Veronica grew up with parents deeply involved in using and selling substances. Her parents had a complicated and violent relationship. When Veronica was still young, the family moved to Iowa for her dad’s job. Her parents separated when Veronica was 12, her dad spending time in and out of jail. Veronica and her sister began drinking around this time to numb their feelings through these experiences.
Veronica did what she could to be at home as little as possible, skipping school and staying out late with friends. She dropped out of school when she was 14 and moved in with a much older boyfriend. Eventually, she moved back in with her mom and tried meth for the first time with her brother at age 17.
Veronica instantly became addicted and began self-medicating regularly. She spent time in jail and underwent traumatic experiences related to her use of meth, pills, alcohol, and marijuana, including a long-term abusive relationship.
When she became pregnant with her son, Veronica was clean for five years before relapsing, once again using to cope. This cycle continued for her next two children, Veronica feeling lower and lower, using more and more. The abusive relationship finally ended when her partner left, and she was forced to move again back in with her mom.
Veronica asked her mom to help her. Caught up in her own use, her mom was unable to help. This led to a great deal of conflict between the two, culminating in an argument between Veronica and her mom, in which Veronica’s eldest son tried to intervene. In doing so he was injured, and the Department of Human Services (DHS) was notified when he received medical care.
“Along with these changes, my life changed”
Preparing for her case, Veronica came clean about her use and asked for help. She worked to find an inpatient treatment center that would allow her children to stay with her.
During treatment and after, Veronica feels DHS was an important component for her success. Now in her mid-30s, Veronica credits DHS with much of the support she needed to get sober and improve her and her children’s lives. From this starting point, Veronica took every opportunity she saw come her way and sought out what she knew she wanted.
“DHS, Department of Human Services, was also involved because of the incident, obviously, and they were helping me as well. I got into family treatment court. That was another plan that helped me as well. I don’t know if you guys know about family treatment court. [It’s] awesome. But I went in there completely opened. I didn’t want to go against the cur--, you know, the currents. I didn’t wanna go against anything. I wanted to go with it. I wanted to take me where it should take me. And sure enough I bridged successfully…and then I continue[d] with family treatment court and bridge[d] there successfully as well. And I continued to go through therapy. And actually, I go to therapy. I still go to therapy. But along with those changes my life changed. I started to build my credit because I messed up my credit a lot. I started to build up myself and my kids...I became a counselor, a substance abuse counselor, uh, to help women like me. I worked on that. I went back to school, you know, um, I pushed the man that had cost me so much pain away. And I did not allow him to come back in for a very, very long time. You know, um, if he wanted to see his kids it took, ah, it took some time, you know. He worked. He, he, he worked for it. He changed as well.”
She graduated treatment and quickly accomplished many of the things she felt she was afraid to while using.
“It all happened so quick, actually. Within the two months I was done graduating for GED, I had gotten my license, you know, and I was on my way to work for the college, you know, and all kinds of stuff. But they helped me. Housing helped me to find out about some assistance programs that helped me with my license. And so, it all kinda just went in like a little chain. Yeah. So, that was, that was health[y], very help[ful], so I got my license now. I had never had a license… So, I’m happy that I’m in a better place. I’m working into buying my house pretty soon here. I’ve been working at night for a couple of years, but I think we're getting pretty close, so, which for me is a big deal because coming from a family who's never owned a house in their lives, I wanted to be able to do that for my kids.”
“You wanna look back, but you don’t wanna stay there”
Now Veronica hopes to continue the success she has had, building on what she has already accomplished in the next 5 years.
“Hopefully by that time I’m transitioning into a new therapist job. Hopefully. I don’t like to front, but yes. And I hope to see my kid graduate. He seems to do great in school so far. I think he's doing well. For a teenager he's not bad at all... I see my other kids being successful as well. And so, you know, I, I see good. I don’t know, where will I be? I don’t like to look at it that way, but I think that I, I want to reach my goal. That's where I see myself, reaching my goal, and by that time hopefully I would finally be my own, owner of my own home, and that's where I see at the moment for that…. I got this feedback when I used to go to AA meetings, and they used to say, ‘You always wanna leave the door cracked, but you don’t wanna leave it open.’ And what that means is like, you wanna look back, but you don’t wanna stay there, you know, so what motivates me is the memory of how hard I worked to get where I’m getting at right now.”